A normal working day for me starts around 7 am (I have 2 alarms before that…snoozing is a part of life!) and ends anytime between 12 am -3 am (I swear I’m not insomniac – I just don’t tend to sleep early… 🙂 and yes I’m one of those people that sleeps with my PC, tablet and phone right where I can reach them)
Right now I’m palpitating, frustrated because here we go again! I’m not having a panic attack am I? I’ve been at my desk at work for a couple of hours now and in that time I’ve done and thought about everything and nothing!
I started with my daily routine of login on to my computer to check my email for anything I’ve missed on my transit to work (like I hadn’t just checked It before leaving home!). I guess I didn’t shut down Google chrome properly because it opened with all my 16 tabs from the previous day! revolving around:
- Articles on focusing my mind…how ironic!
- Quilting: sewing machines I’m currently eyeing, Craftsy classes on sale, new items on Massdrop, bloglovin…
- Articles on WordPress…for knowledge on setting up my account among other things
- Other researches…etc.
I went through each tab and even made an attempt to read one of the articles on focusing the mind I didn’t get to yesterday…felt like a good place to start and they had some sleek quotes that made me feel like I was on the right track. On the other hand, I am chatting on BBM and WhatsApp with a couple of people, I am trying to update the office website, all the while thinking of the numerous other things I need to do.
Then it hit me…I haven’t achieved anything at all not even the little task of updating an article on the website because I just can’t seem to focus! One minute I’m working, the next minute I have to reply a message and on returning to my PC I am on another page entirely. I am having a hard time remembering things, very unlike me – at least that is what my husband said… poor guy I used to be his reminder but these days I am even more forgetful! I have been struggling with this realization for a while now but I keep telling myself it’s fine, I’m wired to multitask and have a racing mind but when I begin to feel my head spin, palpitation, frustration and just plain sadness over my inability to achieve my daily goals then I know…the struggle is real and a breaking point is at hand (Or I am just being too hard on myself 😦 )!
Few minutes ago, I thought to myself I need a retreat, a time off from the daily routine, the gadgets, social media and the expectations of just being who I am, a wife, daughter, sister, friend, employee, quilter among other things. Truthfully though, that’s not going to happen is it? Life doesn’t give breaks and the best I can do is consciously and prayerfully take back my mind and do everything I can to cultivate a healthy body, soul and spirit. To find calm in the midst of all the chaos around and within me, and like I read in a book, develop a present moment awareness of finding joy in what I am doing right here and now, focusing on enjoying the process and not dwelling on the end result.
I know it’s not going to be easy to reclaim my mind but I am willing to try because there’s a lot more I can achieve, I just need to give myself a chance and stop being my own biggest hindrance!!!
How does all these relate to quilting? Probably in no way but I have to say I am glad I quilt because lately, the few times I am less stressed and somewhat calm is when I am at my sewing desk working on a quilting project 🙂 🙂
How do you focus your mind, any tips and advice? Kindly leave your comment below!
Here are some of the links I found useful, feel free to check them out: